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i had a thought once

that none of it mattered
anymore but somehow,
before, it genuinely
did matter and not
just to me, but in
some cosmic way
where God was telling me,
specifically, to listen,
holding my breath
to hear stillness
to see what it would
be like to be so calm,
to be dead, only
still I could listen,
maybe not hear, but
listen, to the
tiny sound of
the truth hissing
from my heart, whose
chamber had sprung
a leak.


 – Alameda | April 5, 2003

©2006 Jamie Gross | All Rights Reserved