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she’s almost not here

I’m sad to say, because
even though I, personally,
am working on patience,
and am truly a peaceful
spirit coming only from
a place of love, her
inability to engage
even slightly in any
reality other than
the growing ominous
white silencing in her
mind, this panic
of never knowing who
or where lends itself
to random outbursts
of attempted conversation
so that, sad to say,
even I regress to a state
where silence is golden
and here we sit stoicly
while she ages, dying
really, in the last stages,
to the degree that
she’s already almost not here.

 

 – Tuesday L.A. with hannah | April 15, 2003

©2006 Jamie Gross | All Rights Reserved